The controversy about the use of performance enhancing drugs by athletes has always seemed like a futile rear-guard action to me: humans have always dosed themselves and likely will always do so in ever more effective ways. Perhaps the resistance will soften soon.

Apparently, in order to be considered for funding this year, PIs have to submit a signed affidavit stating that they will refrain from using brain-enhancing drugs, such as Provigil, in the course of their research. Does that not strike y’all as slightly Big Brother-ish? Forgive me for gliding down a slippery slope, but what’s next? Are we only going to be allowed to drink decaf coffee while at lab? Perhaps LASIK will be forbidden so that some researchers don’t have an unfair advantage over others when it comes to microscopy or micro-surgeries?

Provigil, from my limited understanding, is pretty spectacular. Quinn Norton said (sorry, haven’t read the literature myself) that soldiers who were given Provigil performed better on tasks after three nights of staying awake than they did on the first day. Provigil basically eradicates the need for rest, while simultaneously enhancing cognitive abilities and general brain awesomeness. The problem arises when one takes too much of the drug. Rats who were administered Provigil for an extended period of time needed no sleep and performed well on tasks… until they dropped stone cold dead. No explanation and no warning. Just dead. Oy. Looks like you can’t fool Mother Nature for too long.

I bet that Mother Nature doses herself too.